Steps in the right direction.

Things are getting normal around here……..

Today was a good day! A nights sleep (minus two night checks) and a positive start with a boy who seemed to have a renewed perspective on things means I’ve had a smile on my face all day AND that smile is adorned with bright pink lipstick.

We ventured into the real life world of other families fighting diabetes this week. I apprehensively went along to an organised coffee morning, I’ve never felt like more of a “Mum”. I felt like I would stick out like a sore thumb, not know what I was talking about and as though I would want to run for the hills. Will they be up my street? Will they think I’m nuts? Do I know what I’m talking about? Am I going mental? The reality was so different, a group of fantastic parents all feeling the same, worrying about the same things, speaking the same language. What a relief. This means we are now part of a hidden community of families who, on the surface appear just the same as everyone else but behind the scenes are managing a condition that just will not go away. There are no days off, no respite but we keep fighting and now we can do it together.

Bob came home from school and decided he was going to inject himself today, I immediately felt panic, excitement, pride and panic again in that one moment. As it happens, he chickened out at the last minute (phew!) but what a step forward for my little warrior. He is now taking care of all of his blood glucose tests himself without question, I can’t believe the progress that he’s made in such a short time.

Dare I say it, life felt quite normal today, which left me feeling a bit lost believe it or not?! Whilst I actually crave mundane normality and to be rid of the stresses of the diabetes, this has become a short term obsession and way of life and it feels odd that it is now our new normal. The carb counting is becoming second nature, in fact we are all benefitting from doing it, the jeans are a bit looser (every cloud!). Bobby is like a local celebrity these days with audiences of children ad friends and family fascinated by what he does which is building his confidence day by day.

What this has made me realise is that perhaps the simple things really do tick the boxes sometimes. Have I been making things too complicated all this time? We’ve spent proper family time together these last few weeks instead of rushing to the next thing and the next goal.  Is it as simple as a walk in the woods and reading stories together? Have I been looking for too much? One better, one bigger, one more……

Now to plan for the hen weekend to Barcelona, time to let my hair down and behave like none of this exists.  Will I actually be able to leave him with Daddy? Not that Daddy isn’t capable, quite the opposite, but will I actually be able to leave the control behind? Just when things seemed to be getting easier………….Do one diabetes.

These things have got us through the week………

Klaudi & Fin ice lollies. 7g carbs, perfect diabetic snacking fodder. www.claudiandfin.co.uk

The Yes Mum Positivity cards. Fantastic positivity for tricky days.  http://notsosmugnow.com/tag/the-yes-mum-mum/

Mother of All Lists. Well worth a read, from one mum to another. www.motherofalllists.com

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